Saturday, December 31, 2011

Melding Screams and Shouts

stylin' into 2012 with origami samurai hats cause the dollar store across the street was closed

If you think about it, it's pretty lousy of us to wait 365 days just to tell ourselves that within the next 365 days you're going to do what you didn't do in the 365 days you just lived. I try not to force myself to make a turn-of-the-year resolution lists as a result, but I can't help but go to bed - covered in confetti, champagne, and remnants of slime from some celebratory Frenching - with thoughts of what the new year will entail and how I can better myself to make shit happen.

My family came to visit me last weekend, but more so to experience new year's eve in Time Square for the first time. (I'm pretty sure I put their travel priorities in the right order.) That weekend marked the end to the longest I've gone in not seeing my family, five months since August; and before that only three months last summer when I was in this city for an internship. Although there were bouts of annoyances that I didn't miss in living under the same roof, it was overwhelming to accept that through time, these familial encounters will shrink and the length of absences will expand. My mother is more understanding, more open, curious but not invasive; my siblings are more mature, more willing to share their personal passions, more respectful. I need to make the most out of these qualities and shared times for now on.

Mentally, this has been a very trying year. I stepped up to a green platform decorated in honors ropes questioning what I've been working on up to that point, realizing it may not be what I wanted to pursue as a career. Dealing with various setbacks has sprinkled my year with thoughts of uncertainty, uncertainty turned to fear, and thus slowed down my motivation and productivity. My social support fluctuated as my closest friends settled on opposite coasts (and Chicago) for the next chapter of their lives. Despite the tiny handful remaining in the small town which I spent most of my life, I knew that their emigrations were imminent, including my own.

I won't say that this has been a terrible year. A lot of my money went into some solo traveling on the weekend and breaks: visiting friends at shows and events around Ohio, Chicago, and saying hello again to my New Yorkers before settling months later. I've sent snail mail and care packages to those I couldn't see in the immediate future. I split my birthday week in Chicago and Columbus eating, drinking (a lot), dancing (not enough), and sweating (hot as balls that week), and somehow turned several awkward encounters into budding relationships. That didn't stop when I abruptly packed my bags and headed East. I stumbled upon new friends, rekindled old ones, and even developed unpredictable relationships with former acquaintances.

So fuck it. I'm diving into this year with smiles and laughs, and embracing my creative potentials. I've limited my resolutions to a very small, but powerful list: take chances (the part of 2010 me I miss greatly), embrace relationships, and "get money get paid." (Thanks, Chi City.) Oh, and finally combust into a giant cloud of dust when an asteroid hits the planet on doomsday.

... and I guess blog more. That was last year's resolution, and frankly I don't think I did a terrible job with that!

Reality of NYE: wasn't covered in confetti or doused in champagne, and didn't even receive my first kiss of 2012. (Yet.) I lost contact with all of my friends and, therefore, potential plans, around 9 p.m. Luckily, my brother bailed my family and the Time Square ball drop and come back to my apartment to use the toilet. A mixture of blasting Lil B, streaming the ball drop happening mere miles away (ungrateful denizen), walking around Williamsburg after midnight, and heading to bed before 2 a.m. Next year, a hotel party's gonna save me from being stranded YET AGAIN.

BUT WAIT! DON'T LEAVE. In the midst of this jovial state of mind, I compiled a mix of songs that stuck with me in the past year. This is not so much a "top songs of 2011" sort of mixtape... okay, maybe so as a lot of these tracks went through heavy rotation on my iPod, turntable, cassette player, etc. I know the music tastes of you readers are all over the board, but c'mon! It doesn't hurt to give it a spin and surprise yourself with a track or two you didn't expect to love. Hell, that's how I discovered a lot of these tracks. Plus, I decided to go pro and use my amateur knowledge of Audacity to MIX the mix. So ENJOI.

brought to you in 3D thanks to Miss Chance Morris


1_ Lil B "Pretty Bitch"
2_ The Spits "No Place to Live"
3_ Warsaw "Leaders of Men"
4_ Unwound "Lucky Acid"
5_ Career Suicide "Cherry Beach"
6_ Duffy and the Doubters "Spider Baby Jesus"
7_ Milk Music "Out of My World"
8_ Bleached "Think of You"
9_ Toro Y Moi "Fax Shadow"
10_ Xeno and Oaklander "Sets and Lights"
11_ Pictureplane "Techno Fetish"
12_ Gary War "Grounds for Termination"
13_ Shabazz Palaces "Free Press and Curl"
14_ White Ring "Rick Ross - BMF [White Ring/One Nation Under God Remix]"
15_ Trust "Bulbform"
16_ Glass Candy "Etheric Device"
17_ //Tense// "Pulse Beat"
18_ Tyga "Racks City"
19_ Tyler, The Creator and N*E*R*D "Inside of Clouds [Remix]"
20_ Araabmuzik "Lost in A Maze"

And if you haven't gotten the chance to do so, download my other 2011 mixes: Sweaty Summer and Indonesian DIY Punk.

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